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Bryce bauer
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Blog 

Why "trying to be positive" doesn't work...

6/1/2021

 
If you've ever gone through a very intense emotional process, you probably noticed that your "break down" was eventually followed by a feeling of "aliveness" and "relief".

Maybe it was a death, a divorce, or revisiting a traumatic childhood experience.

The reason this happens is because emotions are like Christmas lights.

There is an entire spectrum of color and experience, that lights up when energy and attention are paid to it.
When you allow the energy to flow through you, the colors light up. This is the experience of "aliveness".

If we cut off or short circuit that energy, we cut off our experience to all emotions. There is no way to block out negative emotions and only feel positive.

That's why "I'm just trying to be positive" doesn't work in the long term.

A temporary block of negative emotions might give some short-term relief but, it also blocks positive emotions like joy, awe, and passion.

If this becomes the mode of operation, life can seem meaningless.

To deal with the meaninglessness, we will turn to external stimuli or "highs" to mimic the feeling of aliveness.

Partying, sex, gambling, risk taking, staying extremely busy with work or making money, etc.

Or, we may choose to go to sleep.

Watching TV, passing out, overeating, isolating, self-pity, etc.
​
It's not our fault that we fall into these pits (it's a part of life) but, we are the ones that are responsible for reaching out our hand for help and doing the work to pull ourselves out.

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    Bryce Bauer

    Relationship Coach
    Salt Lake City, UT

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