A common complaint I hear from Men is that their partner does not want to have sex as much as they want to.
Sometimes, this even turns into no sex for weeks, months, or years.
What do you think this is about?
Most Men seem to think it's their partner's lack of sexual desire.
But, what if it's not that she doesn't desire sex? What if the truth that she just doesn't desire sex with YOU?
What if YOU have created this lack of desire?
Maybe you turned to porn/fantasy and you are emotionally absent during sex?
Maybe you blew up one too many times and she is scared of you now?
Maybe you put on a bunch of weight and stopped taking care of yourself?
Maybe, you burn yourself out at work and the only thing you want to do when you're together is have sex and fall asleep?
Maybe your constant pleading and pouting has created a dynamic of pity and resentment?
How about you work on being DESIRABLE instead of blaming her lack of desire?
I had a revelation several years ago that Men (including myself) are extremely sensitive and don't know it.
Sensitivity - a person's feelings which might be easily offended or hurt
Anger issues = Sensitivity
Addictions = Sensitivity
Depression = Sensitivity
If I'm sensitive, I'm going to feel easily triggered and have emotional reactions. If those emotional reactions stay unresolved, I will feel stress in my mind and body. Once there, I will intuitively create coping strategies. If I'm unaware of my sensitivity, I will blame other people, places or things for my problems.
I may drink, smoke, eat, or watch porn.
I may blow up to release energy.
I may sulk, collapse into despair, or self-sabotage.
I may try to blame, control, or manipulate others.
The list goes on...
What's the solution?
First, I have to acknowledge that I am a sensitive being who is easily hurt or offended. Second, I have to ask for help in learning how to work with my sensitivities and even use them to support myself. Third, I have to integrate this new way by helping others do the same. This is how we bring this Full Circle.