The Backpack Theory
The Backpack Theory
Imagine that every unresolved conflict in your life is like a tiny pebble that you put into your backpack. You may not feel the first 100 as you walk along but, at some point, you will begin to feel the straps pulling down on your shoulders. The heavier the pack gets, the less you will feel the weight of one stone and the more you will feel the weight of the backpack in its entirety.
When you do finally manage to take out a pebble or two, you may be disappointed by the lack of relief that you feel. The pack feels the same. It’s at this point that you may feel stuck. Your effort appears to earn you little to no reward.
What we need to understand is that this same experience works in reverse. It may take a ton of effort, a great deal of time, and many stones before we notice a shift.
The real reason why this matters is that, even though we may still feel burdened, we are intuitively aware of our trajectory. "Is the pack getting heavier or lighter, over time?" This is the difference between feeling hopeful and feeling hopeless. This emotional state is what allows us to carry our backpack of rocks when we feel like giving up.
Passion and Blame
Some people seem to get passion and blame mixed up.
For instance, it is very possible to say "I really care about this issue and this is what I am choosing to do about it" and leaving out "If you don't do what I do, you're an idiot."
In fact, if you're trying to convince anyone else of your point, this will have the direct opposite effect.
You will drive others away while simultaneously breeding contempt within your group. As people move away from your group, you will feel less connected and you will begin to objectify them
Once you lose your sense of another person or group's humanity, it opens you up to just about anything.
This is how riots and wars start.
It all begins with this fundamental principle of learning how to honor your passion while also holding love for others.
Be the change.