Building Confidence

Working in the therapy and coaching world for the last 11 years, the #1 complaint I’ve heard from Men is that they want to feel more confident.

It seems that most Men go about trying to achieve this externally. If I can get the house, the job, the hot wife, the car, the 6 pack, the degree, and the admiration from others, then I will feel more confident.

However, these things are totally unrelated to confidence.

Confidence is an emotion. It comes from an ability to “be with” ones experience.

Confidence is neutral. Positive or negative does not matter. Confidence is finding peace with whatever is happening. Not to be confused with “whatever, shit happens.” That’s passivity.

Building confidence comes from leaning into emotional discomfort, over and over, until it’s familiar. This is not to be confused with just being uncomfortable because that is life. Confidence comes from intention.

Confidence is wise, kind, and open because it has nothing to defend.
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Confidence is a “way” and not a destination.